Choosing a bride and groom is a fundamental matter in marriage. That is why there is an Islamic custom. But if I like someone, can I make Dua marry him? Or Can I make Dua to marry a specific person?
A boy is liked, or a girl is selected. In this case, to marry the desired son or daughter or to make marriage more accessible, can one pray to Allah for family consent or not? Is it permissible to pray in such a situation? What to do in this case?
Can I make Dua to marry a specific person?
Yes, I can make Dua to marry a specific person. It is permissible to pray to Allah to get someone as a life partner If there is no illicit or anti-Islamic relationship with the concerned child.
So we can pray to marry someone of our choice or make marriage easy. However, one who wants to marry a specific or desired person should seek Allah’s help by taking the critical advice of Islamic Shari’ah to make dua to Allah to facilitate the arrangement of marriage.
They are-
‘O Allah, make it easy for me if it is good for me to have him (such a person) as a life partner.’
Because Allah Ta’ala has indicated in the Qur’an al-Karim about making dua in this way by adding conditions. Allah says:
وَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَى أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَتَعلَمُونَ
Perhaps there is something that you do not like, but it is good for you. And maybe a thing is desirable to you, but it isn’t good for you. Allah knows; you do not know. (Surah Baqarah: verse 216)
Hadith about Dua to marry a specific person
Abu Hurairah Radiyallahu Anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
Indeed, the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said, “The supplication of a servant is always accepted Unless the supplication is about a wrongful act or severance of kinship—and (in prayer) without haste.
It was asked – O Messenger of Allah, may God bless him and grant him peace; what is hurrying in prayer? He kept saying, I have prayed, I have prayed, But I did not see that he accepted my prayer. Then he becomes tired and refrains from supplicating.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
The matter of praying for a purpose has become clear from this hadith. According to the commentary of the hadith, supplication cannot be made in the mentioned 3 cases. What the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has forbidden to do. They are-
- Dua cannot be prayed for any sinful act.
- Dua cannot be prayed for severing kinship ties.
- Please do not rush to get its results.
According to the guidance of the hadith, one can pray for Allah’s help in any matter except these three areas. There is no obstacle. However, Islamic Shari’ah advises a Muslim to add a condition to supplication to Allah. Again, if you are doing any work, it is recommended that you move forward with Istikhara.
Before making Dua to marry a specific person
Istikhara
Istikhara can be done along with making dua to Allah for marrying someone. In the hadith, the beloved Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) advised to ask for Istikhara to get indications of good and bad deeds. It is mentioned in the hadith-
Jaber Radiyallahu Anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam used to teach us Istikhara for all our deeds. As he used to prepare the surahs of the Quran. (He used to say) – When one of you wants to do something special, he should pray two rak’ahs and pray like this –
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ، وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ، وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ، وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ
Meaning: ‘O Allah! I want to know the pros and cons of my intended work with your knowledge and be able to do it with your power. And I ask for your great grace. Because you are powerful, and I have no power, and you know, and I do not know. You are the one who knows about the unseen.’
O Allah! If you know that this act is good for my deen, my lifestyle, and ultimately (Rabi said, or he said) – my present and future, then appoint it for me.
And if you consider this act of mine to be inauspicious for me in terms of my deen, in my life and the end – said Rabi, or he said – in terms of my present and future in the world, then take it back from me. Keep me out of it, too.
And wherever, appoint for me good deeds. Then, keep me satisfied with your assigned work. Rabi said, let him mention the specific matter of his need at this time.’ (Bukhari)
Do not engage in love affairs.
I can make dua to Allah for marriage to a specific person. But he cannot have relations with her before marriage. Still, if you like someone, you can pray to get him as your life partner. But Allah will not accept it because Allah does not accept the dua of a person who indulges in haram.
It is better for us – we should not pray for a specific person as a life partner. Instead, praying to Allah for merit and goodness is better and proper because God can give you a better life partner than you think.
Accepting Allah as a good harvester for me
We do not know our future. So, the person I pray for marriage may not benefit me. So, it is better to accept Allah as a good harvester.
Many times, what we are eager to get today, two days later, we become anxious about it. Again, what I try to stay away from today, I’m glad I got it after a few days.
Allah Almighty says in the Holy Qur’an, “On the contrary, you may not like something, but it is good for you.” And maybe one of the things is desirable to you but harmful to you. Allah knows; you do not know. (Surah Baqarah, verse: 216)
Scholars’ opinion
The famous Muslim thinker Allama Ibnul Jawzi (RA) said, “Allah will refrain from asking anything specific.” However, there is no problem if it is associated with a blessing (to ask for something specific). The acquisition of many worldly desired objects often becomes the cause of loss in the future. (Saidul Khatir: 352)
The story of Prophet Musa (A.S.) is described in the Holy Qur’an. There is also a prayer of Musa (AS). After reciting the dua, Allah Ta’ala has arranged food and lodging for him. Apart from his shelter, he also set out to find a suitable life partner. That prayer is-
ﺭَﺏِّ ﺇِﻧِّﻲ ﻟِﻤَﺎ ﺃَﻧْﺰَﻟْﺖَ ﺇِﻟَﻲَّ ﻣِﻦْ ﺧَﻴْﺮٍ ﻓَﻘِﻴﺮٌ
Pronunciation: Rabbi Inni Lima- Anzalta Ilaia Min Khairin Fakir.
Meaning: O my Lord, I look forward to whatever favor You send me.
(Surah Al-Qasas, Verse: 24)
One more dua mentioned in the Holy Quran can also be done. Allah Ta’ala teaches supplication and says:
ﺭَﺑَّﻨَﺎ ﻫَﺐْ ﻟَﻨَﺎ ﻣِﻦْ ﺃَﺯْﻭَﺍﺟِﻨَﺎ ﻭَﺫُﺭِّﻳَّﺎﺗِﻦَﺍ ﻗُﺮَّﺓَ ﺃَﻋْﻴُﻦٍ ﻭَﺍﺟْﻌَﻠْﻨَﺎ ﻟﻠْﻤُﺘَّﻧِﻴﺎ
Pronunciation: Rabbana-hablana-min Azwa-zina- wa Jurriyya-tina, kurrata a’union, Waj’alna-lilmuttakina ima-ma-.
Meaning: O our Lord, give us coolness of eyes on behalf of our wives and our children and make us an example for the God-fearing. (Surah Furqan, verse 74)
